more tv ... i'm watching the michael jackson interview. i was like the biggest mj fan. i memorized the smooth criminal video dance scenes and like tried to do them. i wanted that white suit with the shiny blue shirt. when he sang billy jean and did the moonwalk on the grammys (in...84?) that was like the most awesome thing i ever saw. but then he like tried to turn himself into a japanese cartoon character. what's up with that??? and no matter how wacko he might be (wacko jacko), there are still fans all over the place and they like cry and stuff when they see him. i want people to cry when they see me. well, some people do, but i guess i mean cry in a good way. oh yeah, then they showed the neverland ranch and buddy's got an elephant at his house. now i don't care how weird he is but how cool would it be to have your own elephant? and he's talking about his chimp. i've always wanted a chimp or a monkey. wouldn't it be cool to like come home after a rough day and like have a cute little monkey to hang out with? you could like hug it, teach it to bring you your slippers, go out to the patio and have a smoke break with it. does anyone else have these thoughts?

so karen got me some great stuff for valentine's day. v-d as she calls it. she got me an clock that i wanted which is synchronized to the atomic clock like in colorado or something. there's a certain comforting feeling knowing that the time i have is the official time in the whole united states. right now it's 8:44. i know your clock or watch may say something different but this is the REAL time in all of america. so there. she also got me all this kleenex. a lot of times i'll snort instead of blow and she thinks it's kinda disgusting (which i guess it is) so it's one of her subtle ways of encouraging me toward the right direction. she also got me several other nice things and wrote all these cards that fit into each other but it's my own special moment.

life in the hospital hasn't been too rough these days. it could be a lot worse so i'm not complaining. the worst part is not knowing what the heck is going on with some people. i figured medicine would be pretty black and white (since we're on this mj theme) but there is so much grey out there. or is it gray? i was actually off again today. because of our schedule my days off have been bunched up. i got to pray with this guy we transferred to hospice care. we tried to fix him up but couldn't. i was glad to see that he had a son and others who visited often. it's terrible when these sick people come in and no one ever visits them. either the family doesn't care or they live out of town or they don't have family. it's a sad and lonely world out there. share the love!