Thursday, July 29, 2010

adoption

Our little Isaac has finally made it home after a 20+ hour day of travel. He and Karen are both asleep on our bed and Kate's supposed to be asleep but is reading books out loud. But at least she's in bed ... except when she's getting out to get more books. With what will likely be a rare window of semi-stillness in the days ahead, I decided to post a few thoughts. Nothing better to do that with than a glass of scotch in hand, my way of celebrating Isaac's arrival. I should be trying to catch up on my own sleep but oh well.

The whole experience is surreal. I keep asking myself, "What in the world just happened? Someone went and dropped us off a kid!" Our family instantly grew by 33%. It's even more odd that we have this 10 1/2 month-old on our hands and we don't really know much about him. Sure, we got well-baby reports over the past few months but his habits, mannerisms, daily activities, likes and dislikes we have to discover on our own and we have a lot to catch up on! They do send some info with him about naps, meals, etc. but that can only help so much.

I don't think I have the time to go into the whole adoption idea and philosophy, especially how it pertains to Korea, right now but I do plan on doing that in the future. Suffice it to say, as joyous as it was to see the escort bring him down the runway, there are of course many sad aspects to the adoption process. One I didn't think about much until a friend of mine recently asked what stuff will come with him. Essentially, it's not much--a small carry-on bag, half of it filled with toys and other gifts that we sent over to him while he was in Korea. It's sad that adoption even needs to exist, it's sad that he was born in a culture that makes it so hard for single, unwed mothers to raise a child alone and it's sad that this little boy traveled halfway around the world, seemingly with nothing to his name, his worldly possessions fitting inside a small carry-on. Such a stark contrast with the roadtrips we take where we have the trunk and most of the backseat full of stuff.

I say seemingly nothing to his name because the truth is he has a lot going for him. Most importantly, he has love--from us, the adoption agency, the foster families, the escort who brought him here, his biological mother who made such a difficult decision, and most importantly from his heavenly Father. He has an adoptive mother who would and will sacrifice her own life for his.

I posted this video on my fb.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zI3lXSOt3c
It's by MercyMe, one of the better bands to come out of CCM (contemporary "christian" music, another topic itself) in the past 10 years. I read all the comments, mostly on Karen's fb page, about the tears shed on hearing and seeing pictures of Isaac's arrival. So much emotion. And as touching those tears and kind words are, I think of how much sweeter our final reunion in heaven will be. It definitely fuels the fire of longing for that time and to have others share in that journey.

The other interesting, unexpected thing is how much bigger Kate seems all of a sudden. Not just in size, because as we all know, she is a giant, but it's like she aged 5 years instantly. She's a big sister now. You forget how dependent these little ones are. I call Kate a big baby all the time when she's whiney but she can feed herself, throw things away in the trash, count, solve some puzzles (sort of), talk, sing; all things that seem light years from where Isaac is. And she just turned 3! I can't imagine when they really grow up.

We decided on his name Isaac some time ago. After we pared down the list to a few names, I started taking a liking to Isaac but I kept Karen out of the loop until it was time to turn in the official papers. She kept bugging me for days but I just acted like I hadn't thought of it much. Cruel, I know. I like Isaac for several reason. In Hebrew, it means "he laughs," a reference to ol' Abe having a child so late in life and he found it pretty freakin' hilarious. Laughter is something that I feel describes our family well. Karen is probably the funniest woman I have ever met so Isaac will fit right in. Kate's a pretty funny little girl as well. Also, as far as other famous Isaacs are concerned, who can forget Isaac Newton? Hello, I invented calculus. I mean, who does that? So, Isaac has a good name pedigree. Don't let us down little man, you and Kate have to make it big so we can live off you in our old age.