more tv ... i'm watching the michael jackson interview. i was like the biggest mj fan. i memorized the smooth criminal video dance scenes and like tried to do them. i wanted that white suit with the shiny blue shirt. when he sang billy jean and did the moonwalk on the grammys (in...84?) that was like the most awesome thing i ever saw. but then he like tried to turn himself into a japanese cartoon character. what's up with that??? and no matter how wacko he might be (wacko jacko), there are still fans all over the place and they like cry and stuff when they see him. i want people to cry when they see me. well, some people do, but i guess i mean cry in a good way. oh yeah, then they showed the neverland ranch and buddy's got an elephant at his house. now i don't care how weird he is but how cool would it be to have your own elephant? and he's talking about his chimp. i've always wanted a chimp or a monkey. wouldn't it be cool to like come home after a rough day and like have a cute little monkey to hang out with? you could like hug it, teach it to bring you your slippers, go out to the patio and have a smoke break with it. does anyone else have these thoughts?

so karen got me some great stuff for valentine's day. v-d as she calls it. she got me an clock that i wanted which is synchronized to the atomic clock like in colorado or something. there's a certain comforting feeling knowing that the time i have is the official time in the whole united states. right now it's 8:44. i know your clock or watch may say something different but this is the REAL time in all of america. so there. she also got me all this kleenex. a lot of times i'll snort instead of blow and she thinks it's kinda disgusting (which i guess it is) so it's one of her subtle ways of encouraging me toward the right direction. she also got me several other nice things and wrote all these cards that fit into each other but it's my own special moment.

life in the hospital hasn't been too rough these days. it could be a lot worse so i'm not complaining. the worst part is not knowing what the heck is going on with some people. i figured medicine would be pretty black and white (since we're on this mj theme) but there is so much grey out there. or is it gray? i was actually off again today. because of our schedule my days off have been bunched up. i got to pray with this guy we transferred to hospice care. we tried to fix him up but couldn't. i was glad to see that he had a son and others who visited often. it's terrible when these sick people come in and no one ever visits them. either the family doesn't care or they live out of town or they don't have family. it's a sad and lonely world out there. share the love!

i admit. i watched joe millionaire tonight. i mean, who are these people? who is this joe? who are these girls? why do they all have such bushy eyebrows? how does this guy end up with a gig like this? questions on the minds of all americans. i don't know if y'all know who i'm talking about (i haven't been keeping up with the show too much...something about trying to save lives and stuff) but what is up with the heidi chick? i do remember seeing part of the episode when she was riding the horse and got all freaked out. and then they show her boyfriend on the show. i mean, dude, get a grip! how in the world can someone put up with that??? i don't mean to judge but....

so karen and i had dinner with my folks saturday. i think it was a great experience overall. i ended up doing a lot of translating. my dad still doesn't speak very good english. i guess 35 years isn't long enough. but he really made an effort to ask her questions and tried to make conversation in his limited way. karen didn't think that it went so well with him but i had to remind her of his past. my sister reminded me years ago how much he has mellowed out. in the old days (like jr. high and stuff) when people would call at the house for us he would just hang up. then he actually started saying hello and saying we're not home and then hang up. now, he even attempts to take messages!

gosh, there's so much more to talk about but i have to watch the rest of joe millionaire. i will have to say that zora does have nice eyebrows. if i were on the show then i would probably pick her.

okay, there are some miscreants out there trying to tarnish my professional career by implying (and thus we infer) that somehow my hobbies and new endeavors are compromising my patient care in the hospital. well...okay, while that may be true, you can't prove it now can you???

anyway, i'm in the midst of getting my friend don to actually hook up my own real website so that user feedback will be more user-friendly. you'll be able to click on a comment section and say what you please. the people must have a voice!

this will be a short post but more will come. i was on call fri. (i.e., i was in the hospital all day and night until saturday) and karen came to town to have dinner with my folks so i haven't had time to write much.

ATTENTION--feedback!

unfortunately i'm not web savvy and rich enough to have my own website so that people can easily add comments to my ramblings and this site doesn't even have that capability (as far as i know of), BUT i think i may have bypassed that. if you want to add comments, go to www.blogger.com. use "guest" as the userid and password. click on "stranger in a strange world" and it will take you to my site. type, click on "post and publish" and there you have it. of course, please identify yourself in your comment. peace out. let's see if if works...

i'm sitting here waiting for the stinkin' hotmail to not be busy.

i'm off today. woohoo! i'm on wards this month, general inpatient stuff, that is. we only get a day off per week on average.

i'm watching sportscenter while i'm doing this. kobe scored 51 points last night. he's 24 years old. unbelievable. i'm 30, making 35k per year, my room's a mess, i'm drinking coffee out of a tweety bird coffee mug and i don't want to think about how much kobe's making. so yeah, that's 35k per year for 80+ hours a week, no holidays. you know, if korean parents cared more about sports, i would be playing centerfield in the majors with a few championship rings on my fingers. they would be retired, rollin' in their fancy cars, the envy of korean parents everywhere. well, i wouldn't get them anything too fancy, you know, the whole getting attached to this world idea. but, they've sacrificed a lot and worked like crazy over the years. i guess they deserve some perks from their ungrateful kids.

relationships...

although i grew up in america, i was still raised in a korean family with more and more western influence by the year. it's been a life of kimchi and big macs. my mom came to america first and lived here by herself for a year before the rest of the fam moved here. she didn't speak a lick of english yet somehow, a hospital that was involved in an exchange program with one of the hospitals in korea hired her as a nurse. crazy, huh?

my dad is semi-retired. he was a typical korean small businessman--first grocery store, then dry cleaners. years ago in our city, there were 700 dry cleaners and half were owned by koreans. most of the other half were owned by indians. i guess stereotypes become stereotypes for a reason. he plays golf 3 days a week and watches korean videos and plays go/baduk on the internet. that's his life.

my mom goes to work at night (on the night shift that is, not as a prostitute or anything) and basically watches korean videos all day. but she watches them upstairs and not with my dad. it's hard to coordinate which video you're on to watch them together, you know, with the different schedules and all. it's very complex. like all old people, they keep the house freakin' freezing in the winter and hot as a mother in the summer. it saves money. they walk around with jackets in the winter and in the summer...well, for some medical mystery, old people don't seem to get hot so they actually feel comfortable when the temperature is 100 inside (remember that seinfeld episode?).

my sister was probably the least academically inclined one of the kids but she probably is the one who turned out most normal. she works in film/tv, doing alright for herself. she has one kid, madison (quite possibly the cutest 2 year old on the planet), with another on the way. my brother is also married. he and his wife had a kid 4 months after my sister. now they're also trying for #2. he's also a doctor (anesthesiologist). he drinks too much (not all the time, just a lot when he does). kinda typical for doctors, i guess.

that leaves me the only non-married, childless member of the family. at least i don't think i have any kids anywhere. i'm also the only one in a "cross-cultural" relationship. (how p.c. is that?) she's white. (if you're reading this karen, i love you!) i like people of all backgrounds but i guess just by statistics, since i grew up around more whites, i've dated more white girls than others. as you can imagine, that was a huge issue for the iron fist of my dad. initially he threatened to kick me out of the family but over the years he's mellowed out some. karen and i are actually going out to dinner with my folks this weekend. that will be an interesting evening. my dad actually wanted this because he wanted to get to know her--what her parents do, where she went to school, if she's healthy. koreans are really into family and money and health. karen joked that she would bring her resume for them. hilarious. well, tacos are calling so until next time.

where do i live? for fear of legal ramifications, i can't tell you (i'm in the witness protection program). just kidding. since i want to share a lot of hospital stories, we'll leave my place of residence blank. however, i do live with a surgery intern and medicine intern. i myself am a medicine (internal medicine) intern. we are the real-life "scrubs." except we don't have hot parties all the time or sleep around with nurses or other colleagues ... at least i don't think we do.

what do i do? i am a physician
how glamorous! hell no
why not? because i am an intern
what is that? here is some medical inside info: general chronology of things, unless you're some super smart nerdy geek who like skips grades and stuff ... which one does often find in the world of medicine ... but not as much as in the world of engineering ... to which i once belonged ... and what's up with all the ... ???

anyway: college, 4 years of med school, 3+ years of residency, pass your state board exams, then become an official i-can-practice-on-my-own physician. in contrast, internists are already board-certified physicians in the field of internal medicine, which is general medicine for adults. pediatricians treat kids, family practice physicians treat all age groups, including babies. got that? questions? comments? dedications? circumcisions?

vitals:
who am i? just call me tan the man (although some dude already took that name for the blog title). i was born in korea (south ... i'm not no commie) and moved to the good ol' usa when i was two. i became a christian i guess when i was 12 or so.